3. More ANTS

3. More ANTS:

I have been discussing how much of our emotional distress is created by our Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTS).  Here are some more common varieties of ANTS.  Which of these do you recognize in yourself?

A. Mind reading: We assume that people are having negative thoughts about us.  At a party my thoughts are, “These people don’t like me.”  If you have to give a brief talk to some co-workers, you think, “They will be able to tell that I’m anxious and I will make a fool of myself.”  When we think this way, we turn every social event into a performance during which we must control the thoughts of other people.  Mind reading is the cause of social anxiety.

B. “Should” thoughts: When we think this way, we are requiring the world, other people, and even ourselves must live up to our expectations.  It is an unwillingness to accept what is.  I am angry at you because you “should” have remembered my birthday.  I feel guilty and inadequate because I “should” be making more money.  “Should” thoughts about others provoke anger; thoughts toward ourselves provoke guilt. 

C. Labeling: We apply negative labels toward others and ourselves.  The list of labels is endless: lazy, stupid, rude, insensitive, overly sensitive, and so on.  In reality, labels are not accurate because no one is always lazy, stupid, rude, etc.  When we label ourselves, we feel guilty or inadequate.  When we label others, we feel angry. 

D. Discounting the positive: We minimize the significance of our accomplishments, successes and blessings.  Somehow, they just “don’t count.”  “Yes, I won the tennis match, but my opponent had a bad day.”  “Yes, I was accepted by many colleges, but I didn’t get into the best ones.” “Yes, I got the promotion, but there wasn’t much competition.”                   

D: Emotional reasoning:  We believe that our emotions are an accurate reflection of reality.  In the middle of a panic attack, I feel like “I’m going crazy” or “I have to get out of here.”  Because I feel like a “loser,” I must be one. If I feel rejected, I must have been rejected.  Since I feel guilty, I must have done something wrong. 

Copyright 2011 Stanley E. Hibbs, Ph.D.